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jenni_b
#1 Posted : Saturday, September 03, 2011 10:14:06 AM Quote
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Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 2,237
Location: nr Southampton
Morning all

I have several things on with the diary at the moment. First this weekend is my cousins wedding.

Richard is stressed getting packed and the kids ready

I am creaky and owing and hobbling and grabbing about in the nip but (drumroll please) I have SHOWED MYSELF!

Almost managed to wash my hair...

Then was invaded by my youngest with: My deodrant, my spray and my body cream and said "Right-e-o Mummy les get you weddy" in her delightful 3 yr old enthusiastic way!

Bless!

She thinks this is a great game and she is delighting in it. But it made me feel really sad for a moment that other children do have this with their mums and dont get carers in like I do. I know I have personally strong views on this. Lets just say, I dont think its right!

I wanted to say something else.

Yesterday at the park with Bernie and my carer and her daughter. I went into the seperate area with the climbing frame with Bernice and was tapping each rung and she was steadily putting each foot on. I was gently telling her the next thing from my wheelchair underneath her.

This other mum came on there with her son.

"I will help you" she said to bernie "like Im doing with my son" and then TOOK HER OFF!!!!!

Bernice was so shocked she froze

I was stunned

She didnt say a word to me and I dont think for one moment she considered that I COULD BE BERNIE'S MUM.

I went over to them and said to Bernice "shall we go now" and she climbed down and sat on my lap.

I went and got Kay and her dd and we had an ice cream together and cooled off.

Anyway!

Im off to crunchy creak to getting dressed now.

Jenni xx
how to be a velvet bulldoser
AnnieB
#2 Posted : Saturday, September 03, 2011 4:15:47 PM Quote
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Joined: 5/19/2010
Posts: 384
Hi Jenni,

Please don't for one moment beat yourself up, Bernie has got a fantastic mum and a great role model she gets all the love she needs from you and will I'm quite sure be a credit to you as she grows up.

As a foster carer I see first hand the damage that is done to children when they don't have that secure and stable first few years in their lives and parents who continually let them down and can't even turn up for contact four times a year.

Hope you have a great weekend.

Anne x
dorat
#3 Posted : Saturday, September 03, 2011 5:04:04 PM Quote
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Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 3,157
Location: Huddersfield
Aw bless her Jenni, she is just copying your carer!
I'm with you when you say you don't like children looking after parents, but all children copy adults and that's just what Bernice is doing.
As for the ignorant Mum in the park, I'm not surprised you were speechless!

Hope you all enjoy the wedding.

Love Doreen xx
BarbieGirl
#4 Posted : Saturday, September 03, 2011 8:22:32 PM Quote
Rank: Advanced Member


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Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 1,110
Location: London
Hi Jenni, Doreen is completely right in what she says. Children copy the adults in their lives who are close to them. Bernie is helping you, she sees this, and it is role play for her. As for the mum at the playground, she is completely unaware of the hurt she caused, both to you and to Bernie, people need educating much more when they see someone in a wheelchair etc. Don't let the b*****s get you down!! Enjoy the wedding x x Smile
BARBARA
sheila_G
#5 Posted : Saturday, September 03, 2011 10:22:57 PM Quote
Rank: Advanced Member


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Joined: 3/28/2011
Posts: 956
Location: North Preston
Hi Jenni

ditto

Sheila x
jenni_b
#6 Posted : Sunday, September 04, 2011 10:13:31 AM Quote
Rank: Advanced Member


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Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 2,237
Location: nr Southampton
Hi again

I am about the get ready for the wedding

I managed a swim yesterday with my family (lovely warm pool) and I so appreciated the access etc.

AnnieB. There is a book I want to chat about- for anyone who has personal or professional contact with children who have had very difficult starts. It's called 'the boy who raised as a dog' by Bruce perry. Sound depressing but incredibly positive and forward thinking. Pulling no punches but short and fascinating and unlike most adoption/fostering/trauma related books is a real page turner. I have found it a very valuable read this summer, I can certainly recommend it- such insights into my teen adoptees.

My ra is ok, I'm very stiff and I was aware in the pool how twisted my frame has become. I do think I need to go swimming more in a warm pool... Will investigate further!
how to be a velvet bulldoser
Tracy-Street
#7 Posted : Sunday, September 04, 2011 10:23:29 AM Quote
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Joined: 5/12/2011
Posts: 124
Location: Wilts, nr Stonehenge
Morning Jenni,

Enjoy the wedding, have a lovely and relaxing time

Trace xx
jeanb
#8 Posted : Sunday, September 04, 2011 4:22:26 PM Quote
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Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 3,006
Location: Timperley
Hope the wedding was great. As for the pool - try to have another swim before you leave xxxxxx
Vicky13
#9 Posted : Monday, September 05, 2011 7:40:56 PM Quote
Rank: Advanced Member


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Joined: 11/26/2010
Posts: 71
Location: London
Hi Jenni,

Just thought that I'd mention I used to love doing my Mum's hair and make-up and generally 'pampering' her when I was Bernie's age. I could never understand why she didn't want to go to the shops after my amazing hair-do was complete! Unsure Anyway I was reminded of this as Mum's still got a broken arm (op this week for it) and I've been helping her with hair and hygiene recently and will do after her op. Much more acceptable hair-dos now though!

I was thinking that sometimes we have so much going on with our RA that we forget what 'normal' (Ha!) people get up to. Hope you have some more help from your little stylist and she leaves you looking vaguely presentable!

Vicky xx
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